Teen Dating Abuse

A Letter from the Executive Director

Dear parents, students, teachers, youth leaders, and concerned adults:

I am a mother of two teenage daughters and, like most parents, when I go into worry mode, I think about careless and inexperienced driving, alcohol and drugs, sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy.

What’s not on parents’ list of concerns is dating abuse, a common problem affecting an estimated one in three teenagers. The violence is very real. Consider these statistics:

• Approximately 50 percent of youth say they are personally affected by the issue, either by being in an abusive relationship or knowing someone who is, according to DoSomething.org 2009.
• One in three teens report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically injured by their partner, according to a Liz Claiborne Inc. – Teenage Research Unlimited Feb. 2005 study. 
• That study also reported that one in five teenage girls in relationships said their boyfriends threatened violence or self-harm if the girl tried to end the relationship.
• And one in three teens will stay in that abusive relationship after the first act of violence.            

The last people most of the victims of dating violence turn to are their parents, who according to their kids, usually do not talk to them about healthy relationships.

Parents, however, can broach the subject with their kids. I urge parents and concerned adults to talk to teens about their right to be safe and happy in a relationship and how to recognize early warning signs of abuse. 

Visit our website home page for links to how you can start the conversation with your teen, ideas for what youth group leaders, teachers and adolescent service providers can do, service project ideas for youth and how you can promote teen dating violence preventative education.

Together we can make a difference!  

Patricia Sly,

Parent and Executive Director of the

Jersey Battered Women’s Service

Counseling for Teens and Young Adults
An estimated one in four teens will experience dating abuse. Studies show the rates among college students are even higher. The Dating Abuse Prevention Program (DAPP) of JBWS helps teens and young adults to identify types of abuse, provides emotional support and safety planning, and helps them to identify warning signs of abusive relationships. Counselors who specialize in working with young people can provide help over the phone and in private sessions at a school or a confidential location. The services are free and confidential. Counselors can be reached by calling the 24-hour helpline. Read Information for Teens to learn more.

Counseling for Parents
When an adolescent or young adult is involved in an abusive relationship, parents can play an important role in supporting them and keeping them safe. However, finding a balance between protecting young people and respecting their growing independence is a difficult task. DAPP counselors help parents to 1)understand the dynamics of abusive relationships; 2) recognize the danger signs of abuse; 3) improve communication with their child; 4) act as a resource for their child; and 4) utilize school and community resources. The support and influence of parents helps children and adolescents to engage in balanced, rewarding, and loving relationships. To speak with a DAPP counselor, please call the helpline.